Poem: “People” by rainbownthedark

what do u do when your fuse runs out? when you’ve had all u can take and have taken everything without doubt. people pretend to be with you through thick and thin, but when you’ve reached your end, where r they then. they say don’t worry they will be there with you threw it all but then they leave when you begin to fall. all you can do is get back up and then, know that one day u will find that one true friend, one that will be there with you through thick and thin.

© all rights reserved copyright 2010 by Rainbownthedark

Poem: “Thought” by rainbownthedark

what goes on inside my head, no one knows but i really dread. i cant help but to think where it all went wrong. how my life barely moves along. my thoughts scare me, sometimes even you but without my thoughts i cant be me, i cant be true. im different, not like all the rest. my thoughts make it hard for me to try to rest. alone i sit and wounder, why me? but as i sit, my thoughts take me on a sometimes long journey. its not completely bad but its never good, to be lost in my thoughts to be so miss understood. when will people try to consider how i feel inside,how the pain i feel kills me little by little as the days go by. so u thought that you had it ruff, just try my thoughts for a day. now that’s very freakin tough.

© all rights reserved copyright 2010 by Rainbownthedark

Poem: “Love/Hate” by rainbownthedark

I fell for you but did not know how far of a fall i would actually go. Loving you is like a drug, im so addicted, so wantinig to feel ur warm hug. When i first saw you, you were like a dream. Wanting to hold my hand wanting us to stand out from all the rest. Its been awhile, i miss you like crazy. I loved you with all my heart but then you took it and ripped me apart. Our love didnt last like i wanted it to, but i know now that you were never true. You lied and cheated, you broke my heart. All i ever wanted was for us to never part. I try to hate you more than ne thing else, i try not to care or get in ur life but i still love you more than life. I never knew that love could hurt so much, that my heart could break without your touch. One day ill find someone new, hopefully i will find that person thats as great as you. And hopefully they wont be such a bitch and take my heart and rip it apart.  

© all rights reserved copyright 2010 by Rainbownthedark

Poem: “Alone” by rainbownthedark

Alone at night, i sit and think. wondering why i want to go and drink. I wounder why i’m all alone. Did you ever try to stop and think that maybe i need your help or maybe just maybe i could use that drink. Being alone isn’t fun, its sad and depressing, i’m by myself, stuck in this hell, screaming for help. Wanting someone to free me, to get me out of this dark alone place.I wait for someone to want to reach out, but all waiting has done is caused me to doubt and shut everyone else out. I’m still waiting all alone, not knowing if i will ever find a true home. I have no one and nothing at all but i’m hoping that one day i can say that I’ve found somebody to spend all my days. So i finally wont be alone and hopefully i will find my one true home.

© all rights reserved copyright 2010 by Rainbownthedark

Poem: “Bleed” by rainbownthedark

As i lay bleeding on the floor, i wounder what would of happened if i could of took some more. I’m slowly dieing, bleeding out, wondering and thinking about how i got to this point. My blood was blue but now is red as it pumps out my arm or maybe threw my head. If u don’t know just how i feel, then you didn’t know me, you  pretended that i wasn’t real. I’m sad, afraid and all alone. Wanting pleading for someone to help, rescue me from this hole. But no one will ever truly understand the pain and hurt inside of me. So i was laying bleeding on the floor dieing, but its to late to save me, so now i am dead.

© all rights reserved copyright 2010 by Rainbownthedark

Poem: “Your Not Forgotten” by rainbownthedark

wishing and wanting, just waiting right here. hoping and praying to see u just appear. since you left i dont know what to do, i miss our talks and the times that we knew. u left without notice, u were takin away, why did it have to be that day. You left all of us without a single goodbye, most importantly u left all of us to sit and cry. we talked about problems and things that went on. when you died i took your advice, i got up and got out. but i still miss you so much without a doubt. You were and still are a lifelong friend that me and my mom will love till our end.

this poem is dedicated to Shirley Ann Mills, a great friend of me and my mom that past away on august 31, 2010. We still love and will always miss you.

© all rights reserved copyright 2010 by Rainbownthedark

Poem: “Deadly Emotions” by rainbownthedark

im thinking of dying. death is at my door. i have visions of flying, flying off the roof dying on the floor. No one cares for me, i might as well be dead. I’m invisible to everyone everybody everywhere. I’m empty as can be, inside me theres nothing there. im all alone in the world, not a single friend, i have no one to care. no one to be there when im feeling blue, no one to say it will all be ok. we all have a book of life that we write on our own, but why did everyone cast me out and write my book while they left me all alone. my feelings are gone and my life has gone its pace. so all i have left to say is that one day ill be dead and never wake. then no one will still be there, no one to say or show that they ever did care.

© all rights reserved copyright 2010 by Rainbownthedark

Poem: “Scared” by rainbownthedark

i told u about me, it was really very hard, to open myself up to u and to let u get that far. i didnt want u to know who i really was, i was scared at what you would say, if you would stop talking to me that day. now that you know about me im still so very scared, that you will hate me and cast me out. it scares me that you might do that without even a doubt. if that ever happened, i dont know what i would do. i would be completely dead inside the day u decided that you hated me and didnt want to talk anymore. i hope you dont have any hate for me at all now that you know who i really am, im hoping that you dont go. im still so very scared to the point of crying. i almost want to say that i was just lying. you wanted to know who i really was, now that you know please dont hate me and cast me away. im deadly scared of that day.

© all rights reserved copyright 2010 by Rainbownthedark

rant: “stuff that was on my mind” by rainbownthedark

threw life and joy, death and sorrow, we all stand alone day in day out, today, tomorrow. I’ve learned a lot threw my 21 years, had a lot of fun and shed a lot of tears. one thing I’ve learned in my few years of life is that true friends will always be there for u no matter what, while others all they want to do is bring you down and make u feel like nothing. I’ve learned to not let the little things in life get to me. like false people or things that go wrong. you cant let things get to u and i’m not anymore. a lot of things will go wrong in your life over the years, thinking a lot over the past few days has done a lot for me. i’m gonna do me for a while. correct some things in my life that have gone wrong or that i might of done. i’m tired of worrying about everything and everyone else. tired of helping those that don’t appreciate it or want it. its time to do me, be who i really am. i can see now what is really important in my life and what i need and who i need in it. i’m not bothering with the small stuff anymore. i’m me and that’s all i can be, we are who we are. tryin to change someone means that u really don’t want who they are, don’t change people just to make yourself happy. everyone is unique and different, if u don’t like that then that is your problem, not theirs. just thought i would say all of this. 

© all rights reserved copyright 2011 by Rainbownthedark

Poem “Whats Next: by Rainbownthedark

im sitting here thinking about what all has gone wrong, thinking about what i should of done all along. what is wrong with me, bc i can not see. i wish i could change all the things that have happened so far, but i cant change any thing, that is whats so hard. where do i go from here threw all the pain and all the tears. there is alot to life that i havent figured out, maybe one day i will find out what it is all about. im not quite sure what im doing anymore, i need someone to help me, show me the right path or just show me a door. i wish things where clear and not so cloudy in my mind, i really feel like i was left behind. is there not a reason im just sitting here thinking these thoughts? do i have a plan, a purpose, a reason i was brought to where i am now? all i keep thinking is how much has changed within the past year, all the things that have finally brought me here. whats next keeps popping up inside my head, whats next? whats next, the future i really dread. where will life take me, on this long journy that i have been on. when will i reach that point where i can finally see everything clear and finally forget all my fear. theres so much bottled up inside of me, so much that no one, that all of u can not see. maybe one day my life will be easy and not so hard, just maybe i will end up getting that far. but intill then i will find out what life has in store for me without a doubt.

© all rights reserved copyright 2011 by Rainbownthedark